


And the World Spins Madly On

by SkeletonCrow



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, I cried a little writing this, Sadstuck, first person pov whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 06:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2377823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkeletonCrow/pseuds/SkeletonCrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are beautiful when you sleep.<br/>You look just like a princess.<br/>But it’s getting kind of old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the World Spins Madly On

**Author's Note:**

> hi everybody this is definitely my first published fanfic, please be gentle.

I woke up this morning with tears on my face. You died again in my sleep and I was powerless to do anything. The dawn hit my cheek and refracted into rainbows on the walls. So beautiful and pristine, like you, that I had no choice but to roll out of bed and take a blistering shower. Get my mind off of things. My brother smiled at me from over the top of my breakfast toast that I ate to get the bitter taste out of my mouth. He's been trying to be kind and lay off for a while. He knows I have the nightmares and tries to understand when he wakes up at five in the morning to find me holding him like he's going to disappear the next moment, tears flowing like rivers down my face. He started fixing breakfast for me because everything I made, I burned. 

I went to school today, just like the good old times, but not. You weren't there. You haven’t been there for a long time. I had to sit next to the empty desk I reserved for you in Physics, because I knew you would like that and we would have pulled every string, played every card, to get into the same Physics class. I sat with our friends at lunch again. We all laughed and I briefly forgot that you haven’t shared a meal with us for four years, three months, and fifteen days. John talked soothingly to me outside the bathroom as I cried into the sink when I made a joke you would have liked and you didn't laugh.

I walked home from school alone again. I normally walk with my sister and your brother, but lunch really got to me today, so I said I had tutoring and skipped out on them. I always feel bad about that, but not as bad as it would have felt to walk home and pretend everything is fine. I do parkour now; it’s how I usually get home. You probably would have tried it with me, even though you would have tripped too many times to count. 

I dropped all my crap at home, backpack, iPod and the like, and grabbed a pack of pop-tarts for the road. They’re gone now. I threw the tin-foil pack in the trash, because you always hated it when people litter. Probably comes from living alone for a long time with just yourself and nature. I’d be willing to bet you miss your grandpa now. He sure misses you. He visits every day and brings new flowers. We all painted the walls blue with clouds after the first few months. It took a while and a lot of string-pulling to get the green carpet. I’m glad they painted the equipment the colour of your eyes. I missed seeing it.

I’m going to our favorite spot today. That hill, the place we met, that has the best view of everything there is to see out here. It’s a Friday and Bro won’t mind me staying out late. I’ll watch the stars for you. I've been keeping track of all the movements of the notable celestial bodies for you. You’ll be proud of me for using that phrase. You really like that phrase for some unfathomable reason. 

I quit smoking a while ago. You taught me with your accident that looking ironic and cool isn't worth the problems. Dirk quit drinking, too. Jane keeps baking stuff for me to eat on your behalf. It’s annoying and would make me really fat if I didn't exercise so much, but she says it might help, and I’m all over doing everything to help nowadays. 

John’s birthday is coming up and we’re going to have a great party. I’ll come show you pictures and we’ll hang them up. Rose always says there has to be a way to fix this. We’ve had a lot of brainstorming sessions and a lot of energy drinks over the years. Jane and Roxy miss their monthly sleep-overs. They say it’s not the same without you. Jake misses his little sister and keeps wishing you a swift recovery every time he sees me. He’s still scared of hospitals, but I get the feel he’s going to get over it real soon. Dirk says he wishes you’d wake up so he can beat on you for leaving me, but, between you and me, I think he misses you as much as the rest of us. I can’t even muster the energy to be angry with you or sad about this. 

You are beautiful when you sleep.  
You look just like a princess.  
But it’s getting kind of old.  
Please wake up soon, Jade.


End file.
